This photo is from the Lovely Andrea Perry, who is currently in San Antonio working with campus Crusade, check her out at: http://andreassummer.wordpress.com
I don’t know what it is about home, but whenever I’m here, I feel strangely non-productive. During the week, when no one else is home, I rarely bother to change out of my pajamas and into real clothing before noon. I feel like this is a major problem. Even on days when I do get things done, at the end of the day, I feel like I’ve done nothing. I hate this feeling.
I know this is a feeling I bring upon myself. Whenever I change environments I tend to inadvertently isolate myself. I don’t know why, but I did it when I first headed off to school. Now that I have really good friends there, I miss them greatly. Im so used to seeing their faces daily, that I almost feel lonely. I know this is all really silly. I have great friends here too, loving supporting friends.
I’ve been feeling sluggish almost since I got back. The first few days I was so busy writing letters that it didn’t quite settle in completely until the past couple of days. I don’t seem to go to bed until 1 or 2 am most nights, because I nap during the day. I don’t feel like doing much of anything. I still haven’t completely unpacked. I haven’t begun to get the few things I do need to get before heading to traverse. I’m even behind on my thank you notes. I just feel off. It’s so strange.
I fear that this is creeping into many areas of my life. I feel like its beyond just the physical going to bed late sleeping through the day thing that annoys my mother so much. I feel like Im not spending as much time with the Lord as I did at school, maybe its because suddenly I don’t spend 4 nights a week with other Christians, discussing. Maybe its because I know that I could sleep an hour or 3 less and really study, I have so much time, so what’s holding me back?
Im glad Im not staying in Findlay all summer. Not because I don’t want to spend time with my family, but because I feel like it’s hurting me spiritually to be here. Perhaps I need to learn once again what it’s like to really spend time with the Lord.
So, in an effort to get out of this slump, I will need you all to hold me accountable. The fancy little tools on the homepage tell me that as many as 45 people read this thing some days, which is a good amount of people. So, my first step is to clean the room. Hopefully cleaning my physical surroundings will help me clear my mind and refocus with the Lord. Tomorrow, unless my computer explodes or has some unforeseen accident, I will be posting pictures of a clean room. Hopefully the thought of letting all of my lovely readers down will keep me motivated enough to accomplish the job.
My second step, I do believe, will be getting to bed at a semi-decent hour, and arising at a similarly decent time. That will also start tomorrow. Im going to bed at midnight, and my goal for waking on Tuesday is 8am. There’s no reason for me to still be awake at 3am. And no naps either.
Im not quite sure what my other steps should be, but Im sure they will come along. Ill try to implement a new one each day. Hopefully the structure will get me out of this sluggish mood, and onto something productive.
The Journey 